


delivery

by forestday



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: inane corporate bureaucracy, scream into the void for the customer service line, there are no ships, universe courier service au, you will instead enjoy platonic fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24060892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forestday/pseuds/forestday
Summary: Have you ever needed to send a life-saving measure to another universe to prevent its demise and couldn’t find a way to do it?Do you need to send a thank you gift to a companion you met during a daring adventure in another universe because you got sent there by a pesky god?Is figuring out how to send your world-destroying weapon to another universe taking a bit too long for your liking?If so, TWICE Courier Services for the Endless Universes is the right business for you! We have a dedicated team of efficient postwomen* to deliver your packages within weeks** of order and at low prices***!*Any injuries caused by our employees may or may not be compensated by screaming into the void until a company representative answers your screams. Response times may vary from 1-1000 years.** Delivery not available on weekends.***Prices range from a single grape to the heart of a celestial being.OR a look into a business day at TWICE Courier Services for the Endless Universes.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	delivery

**Author's Note:**

> ignore any mistakes pls.  
> hasnt been edited or beta'd or whatever

**Universe [REDACTED]**

The TWICE Courier Services for the Endless Universes headquarters can only be described as shabby at best. It’s a cube-shaped building that comes with a single window that overlooks the endless void. There's a total of five floors and the walls of every single room are painted in a colour that Sana can only think of as spoilt milk. Jeongyeon, on the other hand, had been a little more colourful with her words but company policy dictates that no one should repeat the words ever again. Sana would know, she's tried many times but the words refuse to leave her mouth. 

The decorations that are littered throughout the building consists of plants that haven’t been changed or watered in a millenia (Tzuyu has kept up a tally), an ever changing amount of statues of weird creatures with hearts for a head and ears, (Dahyun insists that she’s seen them move in the middle of the night) and one oversized painting of a single extremely detailed grape (everyone unanimously decides to ignore its existence except for Chaeyoung who insists it’s the most beautiful painting in the endless universes). 

The company had scheduled a meeting so here the nine of them are, in a room that only has a table, uncomfortable chairs for all of them and one dead pot plant named Gerard. A statue also used to occupy the room but has since disappeared after one of them spilled their soda all over it. 

No one has seen it since. 

The room is barely big enough for all of them and they would expect that being the only courier service across the universes would mean a better office space but as always, capitalism reigns supreme even in this universe.

All of them are in varying states of consciousness as they wait for the clock to tick over the designated meeting time. There's Dahyun snoozing away on her designated Mina shoulder while Mina herself is preoccupied with dealing with Tom Nook's capitalist agenda. On Mina’s other shoulder, Momo has made a home out of it by placing a pillow on top of Mina’s shoulder and is now snoring in comfort. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu on the other hand, are both using Jeongyeon's lap as a makeshift pillow as they drift in and out of consciousness. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are locked in a fierce debate, all while trying to keep Chaeyoung and Tzuyu comfortable in their sleeping positions. Jihyo, meanwhile watches with glee at the bickering duo.

And Sana?

Sana clings onto Nayeon's back like a jetpack.

"Cereal is cereal, not soup!" Jeongyeon whispers aggressively.

"Look, cereal is liquid with bits in it, soup is liquid with bits in it. It's soup," Nayeon retorts loudly, her voice vibrates through Sana's body and she whines. It earns Nayeon a whack at the back of her head from both Jeongyeon and Jihyo when Chaeyoung scrunches her nose at the sound.

Nayeon groans at the pain and opens her mouth to complain but glares from Jihyo who is pointing dramatically at the sleepy duo, stopping her in her tracks. She whacks Jeongyeon's shoulder instead in revenge, making Sana sway with the movement. Jeongyeon's nostrils flare but she doesn't dare move. She settles with throwing Nayeon offensive hand gestures that makes Jihyo stifle her laughter when she sees Nayeon's offense so clearly on her face.

Their debate doesn’t get far as when the clock strikes 9 am, everyone automatically moves with newfound energy to their designated seats at the meeting table. No one is quite sure why this happens every time a meeting is called but they all know better to question anything that happens in this office. The last time they've questioned something that the building has made them do, they had to rescue Chaeyoung from an oversized goose.

Jihyo starts off the meeting by telling them that the designated delivery routes have been changed for no apparent reason other than the whims of the higher ups. There are a chorus of groans and boos at the announcement. Jihyo continues by telling them that partners will also be changing for the sake of making things difficult. The boos get louder until Jihyo removes her gaze from the clipboard to the source of the sound. For some miraculous reason, the booing ceases once her eyes sweep past Dahyun and a suspicious-looking Jeongyeon, who is not quite so sneakily pointing at Dahyun.

Dahyun gasps dramatically and Mina knows for a fact that Dahyun is about to jump across the table to defend her non-existent honour. Mina simply puts out her hand for Dahyun to take, who does so instinctively. Dahyun blinks at the change of direction but finds herself quite satisfied with holding Mina's hand instead of wrestling with Jeongyeon and her stupidly long arms. She does however, stick out her tongue at Jeongyeon who returns the favour.

Jihyo decides for the sake of her already deteriorating mental health to ignore the chaos that unfolds and chooses to announce the partners and the routes instead.

"Dahyun, you're on route 1 with Jeongyeon," Jihyo announces, ignoring Dahyun's exaggerated wail and Jeongyeon's squeaking laughter.

"Chaeyoung, you're on your own with route 2,"

"Why does she get to go on her own, Jiiiiiihyooo-" Dahyun starts to argue before Mina covers her mouth and drags her into her arms. Chaeyoung in the meanwhile, pumps her fist in celebration.

"Moving on, Nayeon, you're with me on route 3," Jihyo ticks off another box off of her checklist.

"Fuck," Nayeon curses under her breath, burying her face into her hands while Jeongyeon points and laughs at her.

"I heard that. Tzuyu and Mina will be doing route 4,"

Tzuyu smiles wide, making her ears wiggle at the fact she got the calmest member to do her rounds with. Mina is also equally pleased, Dahyun's clinginess however, doesn't allow her to celebrate in any way except for giving Tzuyu a bright smile.

"Lastly, Sana and Mo-” Jihyo stops herself before she can finish and dread fills her body. . 

She blinks rapidly at the clipboard in front of her. The clipboard however, doesn’t change instantaneously when mistakes are made like it usually does. Alarm bells ring in her mind and she knows that they’re all doomed now. 

She whips her head up to find both Sana and Momo smiling like angels at her and she falters. Nayeon, Mina, Tzuyu, and Jeongyeon however all sport looks of horror as they realise what the company has done to them. Nayeon starts to rapidly shake her head at Jihyo as if she’s trying to get rid of a ghost possessing her but stops to stare at Gerard once Momo turns to see the commotion.

Jeongyeon takes up her mantle as she makes a very big cross with her arms across her chest until Sana turns to her excitedly. Jeongyeon immediately slams her head down onto the table before Sana can see her arms. While Sana frets over Jeongyeon, Tzuyu gives Jihyo a pleading look that breaks Jihyo just looking at her because she knows she can’t do anything about the new arrangements. She shakes her head slowly in resignation, and so Tzuyu begins to pray to the higher ups for leniency. Mina, meanwhile, looks absolutely stressed thinking about what lies for them ahead. She holds tightly onto a shaking Dahyun and closes her eyes. 

At first glance, Dahyun looks like she’s in tears but Jihyo can tell that Dahyun is putting in a lot of effort into keeping in her laughter. Even if Jihyo admires her effort, she hopes Dahyun knows she’ll be the first one to take back whatever cursed existence Sana and Momo have decided to bring back with them. Chaeyoung on the other hand, doesn’t even attempt to hide her laughter. She slaps the table softly as tears enter her eyes. Jihyo also hopes Chaeyoung knows that she’ll be joining Dahyun in whatever adventure Sana and Momo cause. 

“Ji?” Sana asks with a lilt and an innocent smile on her face. 

“Y-yes, Sana?” Jihyo stutters. Now, Jihyo will never admit that she’s terrified of Sana’s next words but she will say that she is feeling a little sweaty at the prospect of answering Sana. 

“We’re going to be late!” Sana announces with sunshine in her voice.

“What?” Jihyo looks at her watch and her eyes blow wide open, “Oh [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED], everyone run NOW,” Jihyo bellows.

Everyone covers their ears but once Jihyo’s words register, the panic begins. Everyone jumps out of their chairs and bulldoze their way to the slowly disappearing door except for Sana who grins and waits calmly for everyone to leave first. There are a variety of creative curses that fly out of certain employees but for the sake of the image of the company they will not be repeated ever again.

The first one out is Mina who leaps over everyone and then rolls out of the room with an elegance that cannot be described. Everyone stares at her with their jaws hung open as she offers them a peace sign and leaves before they can even say anything. A moment passes and then the chaos resumes. Dahyun is the next winner. She uses her flexibility to squeeze her way past a dueling Jeongyeon and Momo. Momo would have been second out of the door if not for the fact that Jeongyeon had decided to actively sabotage any of Momo’s attempts to step through. Momo’s screams of indignation filter through the room but no one pays her any attention. 

While that battle goes on, Nayeon grabs Tzuyu who is already clinging onto Chaeyoung and pushes them out of the room before she herself squeezes through. Jihyo allows herself a second to check on the rest of them and finds Momo grinning as she has somehow managed to get a wheezing Jeongyeon to piggyback her. Jihyo laughs at the sight and gives Sana a thumbs up before she jumps out of the room to safety. 

Jeongyeon huffs and puffs but drags her unsteady feet to the door and tumbles out with Momo on her back. Sana happily follows after them. 

“Bye Gerard, we’ll see you next time,” Sana waves goodbye to the potted plant before slipping out of the room just as the door disappears completely. 

Sana walks out to find most of the gang gone except for Jeongyeon and Momo who have made themselves a home on the floor. She knows the others are probably already at the warehouse level getting their preparations done but she really doesn’t feel like using up one of her own portals to get there. Walking there instead would mean passing the grape painting and no one except Chaeyoung wants that. Sana bends down to Jeongyeon who is lying face down with Momo still clinging onto her neck. 

“Do you want a kiss, Jeongie? Is that why you’re lying here waiting for me?” Sana whispers into Jeongyeon’s ear in a teasing tone. 

Jeongyeon eyes fly open at light speed and she’s up in no time with Momo stubbornly hanging on. She clicks her fingers and a blue portal opens up to another part of the building. Sana grins smugly and follows Jeongyeon’s quick steps to avoid Sana’s affection. 

Jeongyeon lets Momo down gently and practically runs off to her station, leaving Sana and Momo behind to chuckle at her haste. 

The warehouse is relatively empty except for nine stations that are littered haphazardly throughout the room. Each station already contains the stack of parcels they must deliver today. No one knows or sees how the parcels arrive but they always turn up on delivery days without fail. 

“Hey,” Dahyun says not suspiciously at all. She looks back constantly and shuffles from side to side as she inches closer to where Sana and Momo are getting ready. Luckily for her and Sana and Momo, Jihyo and the others are far too busy to check up on Dahyun's every movement. 

“Same deal as last time?” Momo whispers with a smile while Sana listens intently from the side making sure not to draw attention to them.

“Yeah,” Dahyun nods stiffly, ”Chaeyoung wants a talking snake from 304, and some other things...” Dahyun clumsily tries to slip a note to Sana without gaining any attention but all that happens is Dahyun nearly tripping over a parcel. Sana swipes it effortlessly from Dahyun’s grasp before she can hurt herself and pats Dahyun’s head softly.

Dahyun ears redden at the contact and her eyes drop to the floor. Sana can’t help but coo at her and pinch her cheeks. Dahyun whines but makes no attempt to move at all until Sana’s satisfied. 

“Where is she, by the way?” Momo scans around the room to find no Chaeyoung in sight and Sana finally stops messing with Dahyun’s cheeks to sweep the room as well.

“Oh, she left the minute she told me what she wanted,” Dahyun flashes a bright smile at Momo, shaking off the remnants of affection from Sana. 

Momo furrows her eyebrows, then turns her attention to the untouched pile of parcels next to her. They definitely don’t belong to her or Sana.

“...But aren’t these hers?” Momo asks, a bit confused by the parcels next to her. 

“Yup!” Dahyun responds with ease. 

“And you didn’t tell her?” Sana asks, amused by Dahyun’s antics. 

“Nope!” Dahyun grins and her eyes disappear into half-crescents.

A blue portal opens up in front of them before Momo can even respond and out walks Chaeyoung with a grumpy expression on her face. She marches to her station and stuffs the mountain of packages into her dimensional pockets with haste. Chaeyoung doesn’t even spare them a glance and jumps back into the portal without a word. 

The duo both turn back to Dahyun who still has an ever angelic smile on her face. Sana shakes her head fondly and looks back at the note Dahyun gave her.

“We’ll get you what you and Chaengie want, just have what we want ready when we’re back,” Sana tells her, putting the note away into her pocket. 

“Aye aye captains, two dessert coupons will be ready in your lockers,” Dahyun salutes them.

Momo chuckles at that, she steps forward and kisses Dahyun’s forehead before making her own red portal and stepping through. 

“Momoring, you’re supposed to wait for me!” Sana whines. She hastily kisses the frozen Dahyun’s cheek and runs after Momo’s retreating figure. 

The portal closes and Dahyun stares into the space that once occupied Sana and Momo without even the slightest of movements. Jeongyeon, having finished her preparations and avoided Sana successfully, comes up to Dahyun to start their job.

“C’mon short stuff, we have a mountain of packages to deliver,” Jeongyeon announces, swinging an arm around Dahyun’s neck and bringing her back to reality.

“I’m not short! I am perfectly sized,” Dahyun huffs, and attempts to push Jeongyeon off of her for daring to say the forbidden word. 

“Okay, perfectly-sized stuff,” Jeongyeon grins, pulling Dahyun closer to her. “We still have a mountain of packages to deliver,”

Dahyun whines but accepts defeat as Jeongyeon clicks her fingers to open a red portal to their first universe. Dahyun peeks out from Jeongyeon’s grasp and groans when she sees what’s in store for them.

“137? Again? With you? This is a nightmare,” Dahyun cries into Jeongyeon’s arm. 

“Oh don’t be dramatic, I only pushed you into one volcano, and it wasn’t even active,” Jeongyeon rolls her eyes as she guides them through the portal. 

“One was enough to put a hole into my shirt! A hole! On an indestructible shirt! It took hours for it to heal itse-” Dahyun rambles before she and Jeongyeon are cut off from headquarters when the portal closes. 

On the other side, Mina and Tzuyu methodically prepare for their job. It’s mainly Mina’s system of preparation but Tzuyu is always happy to follow whatever Mina does. Mina places the parcel in neat stacks in her pockets while Tzuyu ticks them off on a checklist as they get put away one by one. 

It doesn’t take them long to finish, Mina’s system is efficient and well thought out after all. Mina claps her hands together once she packs the last package away. She looks up to Tzuyu to see a binding smile in her direction and her brain malfunctions.

“U-uhm w-we should go,” Mina stumbles through her words, and stands up with haste.

Tzuyu hums in affirmation and clicks her fingers to open the portal. Mina is about to rush through when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

She turns back to see Tzuyu’s puppy eyes at full power and her hand outstretched to lightly touch Mina’s. Mina turns her attention from Tzuyu’s growing pout to the soft hand caressing her fingertips. Her mind finally recognises what Tzuyu wants from her and her ears turn a nice shade of red as a result. 

Mina gingerly clasps her hand around Tzuyu’s with a blush adorning her features. Tzuyu’s ears wiggle, satisfied with Mina’s hand in hers. She leads an out-of-it Mina towards the portal, hand in hand ready to complete their duties. 

Jihyo stares at Mina and Tzuyu’s intertwined hands as their portal closes, not noticing Nayeon looking at her as she does.

“Aw Ji, do you want to hold hands too?” Nayeon teases, holding out her hand for Jihyo to take.

Jihyo’s grimace of disgust is enough for Nayeon to drop her hand and start pouting at Jihyo. Nayeon grumbles something about tsundere tendencies that Jihyo doesn’t quite catch but she knows better than to ask Nayeon about it. She rolls her eyes instead and clicks her fingers to open up the red portal. 

*BEEEEEP*

Nayeon and Jihyo both go rigid.

*BEEEEEP*

There are no words between them when they slowly look up to the ceiling. They stare unblinkingly at the words ‘CUSTOMER SERVICE’ hoping that it will magically disappear from their sight. 

*BEEEEEP*

Jihyo finally escapes her trance and whips her head to Nayeon to find her sharing the same panicked look. 

Jihyo begins to whisper to herself the options they can take but they all seem to end terribly for the both of them. She bites her thumb as she thinks. Option one ends with them dealing with an angry customer. Option 2 ends with them dealing with an angry customer later. Her mind shuffles back and forth between the pros and cons of each option. 

Nayeon curses under her breath just so the company doesn’t hear her insults for them (they did but they will let this slide due to the unforeseen circumstances). Of course the company would be too cheap to hire their own customer service team. She looks back up to the ceiling and pauses. 

That doesn’t look right. 

She squints at the ceiling. 

She takes out her glasses and squints again at the ceiling.

Oh, the words are a lot closer than before. 

Oh no, the words are a _lot_ closer than before.

Nayeon’s jaw drops and she begins to slap Jihyo’s shoulder repeatedly. The pain that comes with consecutive Nayeon Slaps™ pushes Jihyo out of her thinking mode and straight into scolding mode. Jihyo however, doesn’t even get a chance to even yell about the pain when Nayeon grabs her chin and pulls it up. 

Jihyo takes one look at the ceiling and immediately makes her decision. The imminent possibility of being crushed by the words ‘CUSTOMER SERVICE’ really does speed up the thought process quite a bit. 

Option 2 it is. 

She grabs Nayeon’s hand and marches them through the portal without looking back. 

**UNIVERSE 7853**

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

“Are they ever going to stop? It’s been nearly two centuries,” The tree asks in exasperation to its small companion.

“Don’t think so, they _really_ want to say thank you to that company,” The flower responds, wincing at the white bellbird screaming their lungs out.

“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-”

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a silly story that doesnt make much sense.  
> thank you for reading!


End file.
